Awesome Games Done Quick: A Community Criticism
Edit: All information and observations in this post pertain to AGDQ 2013.
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Awesome Games Done Quick is a week long gaming marathon done on speedrunslive.com. Its purpose, aside from speed running games for a week, is to raise money for cancer research. Before I get into this post, I’d like to thank everyone participating in AGDQ for putting their time toward such a worthy cause. You people are awesome.
AGDQ attracts a lot of attention on speedrunslive.com, with an audience usually ranging from 20,000-30,000 people. Watching AGDQ (as well as many other streams on speedrunslive.com) basically consists of viewing the game being played, and viewing the person/people playing the game as well as their live audience. There is also a chatroom so that the internet audience can talk to each other and to the speedrunner (though the runners in AGDQ don’t really pay attention to the chat as far as I can tell). The chat can range from good to pretty awful depending on who is participating. It can be a place of fun video game discussion and appreciation where the speedrunner is cheered on, or a breeding ground for trolls and negativity.
I was watching one of my favourite games today, Final Fantasy IX on AGDQ. Much of the commentary had nothing to do with the game though (except when it was about which Final Fantasy game is best/worst, which is a whole other can of worms that I won’t bother getting into in this post). The commentary was about a girl sitting in the audience, knitting while she watched the speedrun. Let me give you a few examples of what was said about this girl. These are not all exact quotes, as I did not save the messages from the chat as they happened. I did write these down not too long after I was done watching though, so they were pretty fresh in my memory:
“grill confirmed on the couch” (girls are often referred to as “grills,” obviously because they sound similar).
“can someone throw out knitting girl?”
“knitting girl is legit hot.”
“knitting girl looks like a *** badger.”
“those are some big *** tits on knitting girl.”
“is that a girl on the couch?”
“who’s the girl?”
“is that a girl in the audience?”
“sure are using the term “girl” loosely these days.”
This is only a small sample of the things that were said about this girl, and it was completely acceptable in the chat to speak about her this way. No one said anything about it, it wasn’t weird, it’s even “cool” to talk about girls this way.Β Putting aside the blatantly offensive comments about her for a moment, this is also a comment on the fixation the chat had on her. She couldn’t just be another person sitting on the couch, watching someone play FFIX, she is a GIRL watching FFIX, so we must know everything about her, we must decide whether she is attractive or not, and if she’s not then what’s the point of her being here?
I tried to protest this behaviour by communicating that everyone’s fixation on her was very creepy, and asked why it was so important that they know what genitalia the audience members had, but it was met with general apathy and further comments about “knitting girl,” as she was named by the chat. I’m not proud of myself though, as I did not protest nearly as much as I could have. But what would it have done really? If I protest too much, then the chat would figure out I’m a girl (I have a fairly gender neutral name on speedrunslive) and now I’m the “crazy feminist girl” whose opinion is meaningless.
Men, I am calling you out. Even if you say things such as the examples I listed above, I know you don’t all think like that, but many of you talk like that to fit in with “the guys.” I’ve learned by masquerading as a male on speedrunslive.com that men experience a lot of pressure in informal social situations with other groups of men, and it is not talked about enough. You’re expected to be tough, crude, sarcastic, loud, and any mention of women is purely sexual. You don’t have to act that way, you really don’t. Be an example. When someone speaks inappropriately about women, don’t play along, tell them it’s uncool. We all deeply care about being accepted by our peers, and it hurts when we’re not. I understand, women experience the same pressure. So use that to your advantage. Stop communicating that it is cool to look at women like they’re fun sexy toys, and instead tell them it’s not acceptable. There are young boys in those chats who are internalizing that it’s okay to talk and think about women this way, and young girls learning that it’s okay for people to talk about them this way. It is NOT. This is a message to all the guys who already know it’s not right to behave this way. Use your position as an authority figure among your male friends and make them feel like it is uncool to talk that way. We need to change our definition of what cool is, because as it is now it’s incredibly offensive to women.
Gaming community, I’m calling you out specifically. This is one of the most alienating communities toward women, so much so that I often feel I can’t admit I’m a female in gaming chats and forums. And don’t you dare retort with “girls on the internet just want attention,” or “why does it matter? just play the game,” OR “tits or GTFO” (hilariously this blog is filled with my boobs…). It matters that I am constantly aware of how I speak, it matters that I’m afraid if you know I’m a girl you’ll speak to me differently, it matters that you might think I’m worse at gaming than you because I’m female, and it matters that I choose not to use a head set just because I have a female voice. These are problems, and only just a few of them. I am so disappointed in so much of the gaming community. I want to believe that I’m part of an accepting community that cares for people, one where everyone can have fun regardless of gender, race, etc.
Then I remember that there are actually a lot of great people within the gaming community. Remember the premise of AGDQ? Raising money in an attempt to eradicate cancer? That’s really noble, and I’m so proud of everyone who put it together and participated. It reminds me that I’m not part of an awful, trolly, offensive community, and there are many great people as well. I know a fair number of members of the competitive Super Smash Brothers Melee community, and so many of them are fantastic men who I am proud to call friends. The good people are just too quiet. Please, speak up. Make gaming something that women don’t have to think twice about participating in. I want to be part of the gaming community and not have to think twice about whether or not I’m allowed to be female while I do so.
EDIT: I’d like to thank the Moderators for doing a fantastic job in the chat. You were deleting unacceptable comments at lightning speed when I tuned in during Ocarina of Time.
Thanks for defending us gamers lacking a “y” chromosome. (And BRAVO “knitting girl”. She was awesome on many levels.) Thankfully my interactions with such trolls are limited, as my friends have respect for my prowess with a controller. But, I have found that all too often, the guys calling the girl out for being a gamer complain that they can’t get a date or that the girls complain about their gaming habits. If some of these guys would grow up and be respectful of female gamers….maybe they’d find themselves with more dates from girls who will play the games with them.
Glad you appreciated the post π It wouldn’t surprise me if many of the men making negative comments about women feel tension toward them due to negative experiences they’ve had with them. The anonymity that an online identity gives them would make them feel more comfortable about venting their frustrations. Unfortunately, not in a positive manner
Just be a merciless gamer. I’m a girl too.. obviously ;D following your blog. and I agree. men are shitty in the gaming community and they’re pretty rude to chicks, but they back off if you speak up for yourself. like. last night playing guild wars 2. I was raiding, and these two female characters that were played by dudes were talking about how hot their characters were and talking about their male genitalia.
and its liek dude. thats not appropriate. thats just disgusting and no-one wants to hear that. As soon as you tell them that they suck shit at the game and pwn them, they’re all offended and scared of you. wreck them with your gamer skills! π
but yeah dude i totally agree with this whole post.
Hey Kythrie! Thanks for the comment π I do agree that it can feel good to defeat a male opponent who initially didn’t think much of your skills, but in the situation where a male player is better than a female I wouldn’t want him to make her feel like it’s due to her gender (girls are pretty great, but we’re not inherently better or worse than men in anyway). Many female gamers playing today didn’t grow up with gaming, and don’t have the YEARS of practice that many of their male counterparts have (much of that practice during their formative years even, which really stays with you). So it wouldn’t surprise me if male gamers are on average more skilled than female. That’s changing as more girls just… play more! π And I’m so happy gaming is more acceptable for women than it was years ago. But at the moment male players on average have a lot more experience. So their attitude really needs to change, because unfortunately we can’t beat them 100% of the time, and that’s not due to having a vagina.
Yeah dude I totally agree. It’s always good to have male friends online if you play online. Like because then you get accepted easier, but in all honesty that’s not exactly fair is it? We should be accepted regardless.
To be honest most men like that who think their skills are godly are just missing out on our friendship anyway. So boo to them because us ladies are fabulous. π THEY’RE JUST MISSING OUT ON ALLLLL DIS! ;D
Bravo. What a simultaneously discouraging and encouraging post.
Thank you Sweets! I didn’t really plan for it to be encouraging at all, but I’m glad some positive thoughts came to me as I was writing. The community honestly has so much good in it. Sometimes it just gets lost amongst the bad.
Excellent post, Windie! As a fellow gamer, I’ve seen similar behavior from men, and it’s really a shame. When I played a certain MMORPG, it could sometimes be an uphill battle to prove that even though I was a girl, I could still play the heck out of a game. And first person shooters? Guys better watch out! Those stereotypes and fixations about women gamers are becoming antiquated and sexist. Thank you for protesting here!
Glad you appreciated it, Erica π
Good post, Windie. I’m a gamer as well, a COD gamer actually. I get absolutely disgusting rubbish directed at me and sometimes I ignore it, sometimes I calmly call the person out and ask them never to do it again (which sometimes works, but only for me. It doesn’t change their attitude to other women) or get ridiculously angry/upset. I’m unashamedly female in games, because I don’t want to hide and pretend to be male. I want to be known to play badly as a woman and play well as a woman (and I get mixed results, being a casual gamer). I can certainly understand the desire to hide our gender though, and I do sometimes when I just can’t deal with it any more.
I find it incredibly disappointing that the gaming community often breeds atmospheres that are hostile, pressuring and disrespectful. As a sensitive person who plays COD: MW2, I have actually sworn off the game because I end up finishing every night crying from either how people have treated me or treated each other. It’s a pity because I love the game and the competition and killing the heck out of people, but it’s not worth having my faith in humanity destroyed every night π¦
It really is a shame. I’ve heard COD is especially bad for that kind of behaviour. I’m not really a shooter fan so I haven’t experienced it myself, but I’ve seen some pretty immature stuff while watching a friend of mine play.
This is sadly one of the reasons I don’t play online games.
Me too Faustineli. I’m thankful that my favourite games are single player anyway, so I’m not missing out on one of my favourite things. I imagine I’d feel more impetus to play online though if it weren’t for the less than optimal environment.
Thank you for writing this. A friend of mine linked it to me, and I really appreciated this.
Most of the time I didn’t look at chat, but honestly what was surprising when I did was how much more well behaved it was than when I am usually on streams. I do a lot of work in eSports, and as weird as this may sound, whenever I looked at chat it was surprisingly well behaved towards me comparatively.
Yes I sit and knit a lot, otherwise I can’t sit still for long periods of time.
But again, thank you very much for the article!
I’m very glad you appreciated it! I didn’t expect you would actually see this article, but I’m happy you did. Makes having written it feel even more worth while! π
Just remember that not all guys are rude to girls gamers.
Of course not π That was one of the main points I wrote about. There are so many awesome guys in the gaming community, and with their help we can really help put an end to a lot of the discrimination that goes down. Thanks for commenting!